But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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