I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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