she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
