Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
