I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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