come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
