Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
