i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
