this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
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