i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I checked into jail on foursquare
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I came so hard my ears popped.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
