I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
did i walk over a car last night?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
