I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
