Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
