She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
