Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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