im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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