Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I AM VODKA MAN
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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