I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
