escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
