She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Randomize
