Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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