I must be too annoying 4 u.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
