I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
You can't special order awesome
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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