One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
