So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
