Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Houston, we have a blender
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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