he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
