Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
