I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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