We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
So much rum. So many feels.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
