How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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