If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
