Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
