And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
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