I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
