I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
