in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
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