I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
