the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
