So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I could fuck to npr.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
