forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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