its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
