Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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