i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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