dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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