Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
