Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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