3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
