my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
