hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize