Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
