Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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