So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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