I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
