definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
