Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
