I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
