Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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