i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
