You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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