i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
