I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
