We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Randomize
