Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
