I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
We had to coat check the pizza.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
