I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
