A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
